I Miss President Goodluck Jonathan!
Imagine N100 plastic Coke at the presidential table! How come! Which kind yawa be dis? President Muhammadu Buhari and VP Osinbajo na wa for una o! Satchets of Peak and Milo, St. Louis sugar cubes carefully counted out and Blueband Margarine on breakfast tables! Omo, see plastic Coke at presidential dinner! See banana like Ibadan toll gate banana! Chai! See akara instead of croissant! Mo gbe! See apples like end of season apple! Dis Budhist ascetic dinner tire pesin o!
I trust my bro. From Bayelsa!
Guaranteed to be on the table will be Beluga Caviar, Foie Gras, White Truffles, Fugu, Matsutake mushrooms and Kobe Beef spiced with Saffron. How can you find plastic Coke on their table, when there are cognacs like Hardy Perfection, Le Voyage Delamain, Jenssen Arcana etc? For wia! Trust Madam Peace to add local flavor of the best cold dried cod and bush meat to the menu.
Thank God for the crystal cups and silverware! Is that Chivita orange in Baba's cup? That flower looks real, alhamdullilah! If you follow this man chop, hunger go kill you. Drink garri or eat eba before any Aso Villa invite. Baba Buhari na our own Dalai Lama! I miss the extravagance! I miss the pomp and ceremony! I miss the "womens". I miss Jonathan! I confess I do! The drama generating guy is out, boring is in! Who do I get to poke fun at?

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